Understanding your infant’s need for connection—and how to support it
As a parent of an infant, you’ve probably experienced that heart-wrenching moment: you try to leave the room—or drop your baby off with a caregiver—and suddenly, tears. Big ones. Outstretched arms. That panicked look. You wonder, Did I do something wrong? Is my baby okay?
If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath: your baby may be going through separation anxiety. It’s one of the most common developmental stages in infancy—and while it’s challenging, it’s also a sign that your baby is growing in exactly the right way.
What Is Separation Anxiety in Infants?
Separation anxiety typically begins between 6 to 9 months of age, though it can start a little earlier or later. It happens when your baby begins to understand that people still exist even when they’re not in sight (hello, object permanence!). That’s a huge developmental step—but it also brings with it a new worry: What if the person I love doesn’t come back?
Suddenly, even a short goodbye can feel like a big deal.
Signs Your Baby May Be Experiencing Separation Anxiety
- Crying when you leave the room
- Reaching out or clinging to you at drop-off
- Becoming upset in new environments or with unfamiliar people
- Waking more often at night, needing comfort
None of these are signs of a problem—they’re simply how your baby is learning to express a need for safety and connection.
Ways to Support Your Baby Through This Stage
1. Practice short, predictable separations
Start small. Leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with a smile. This helps your baby build trust that you always return.
2. Create a simple goodbye ritual
Something like a hug, kiss, and “See you soon!” gives your baby something steady and reassuring to hold onto.
3. Be calm and consistent
Babies pick up on your cues. If you’re confident and loving during goodbyes, your baby learns that everything is okay—even when you’re not right there.
4. Narrate your coming and going
Use your voice to reassure your baby: “Mommy’s going to get your lunch ready and will be right back.” Even if they don’t understand every word, the tone and rhythm of your speech is comforting.
5. Build relationships with trusted caregivers
Whether it's a family member, teacher, or babysitter, helping your baby bond with others builds a wider circle of safety and trust.
You're Doing Better Than You Think
It’s tough to leave when your baby is crying for you. And it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions about that. But separation anxiety isn’t a sign you’ve done anything wrong—it’s a sign your baby knows they are loved and safe with you.
This stage won’t last forever. In time, your baby will learn that every goodbye is followed by a joyful return—and that trust will shape their sense of security for years to come.