Helping Your Baby Feel Secure —Through Every Goodbye

May 13, 2025

Topics:

Infant

Understanding your infant’s need for connection—and how to support it

As a parent of an infant, you’ve probably experienced that heart-wrenching moment: you try to leave the room—or drop your baby off with a caregiver—and suddenly, tears. Big ones. Outstretched arms. That panicked look. You wonder, Did I do something wrong? Is my baby okay?

If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath: your baby may be going through separation anxiety. It’s one of the most common developmental stages in infancy—and while it’s challenging, it’s also a sign that your baby is growing in exactly the right way.

What Is Separation Anxiety in Infants?

Separation anxiety typically begins between 6 to 9 months of age, though it can start a little earlier or later. It happens when your baby begins to understand that people still exist even when they’re not in sight (hello, object permanence!). That’s a huge developmental step—but it also brings with it a new worry: What if the person I love doesn’t come back?

Suddenly, even a short goodbye can feel like a big deal.

Signs Your Baby May Be Experiencing Separation Anxiety

Crying when you leave the room
Reaching out or clinging to you at drop-off
Becoming upset in new environments or with unfamiliar people
Waking more often at night, needing comfort

None of these are signs of a problem—they’re simply how your baby is learning to express a need for safety and connection.

Ways to Support Your Baby Through This Stage

1. Practice short, predictable separations

Start small. Leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with a smile. This helps your baby build trust that you always return.

2. Create a simple goodbye ritual

Something like a hug, kiss, and “See you soon!” gives your baby something steady and reassuring to hold onto.

3. Be calm and consistent

Babies pick up on your cues. If you’re confident and loving during goodbyes, your baby learns that everything is okay—even when you’re not right there.

4. Narrate your coming and going

Use your voice to reassure your baby: “Mommy’s going to get your lunch ready and will be right back.” Even if they don’t understand every word, the tone and rhythm of your speech is comforting.

5. Build relationships with trusted caregivers

Whether it's a family member, teacher, or babysitter, helping your baby bond with others builds a wider circle of safety and trust.

You're Doing Better Than You Think

It’s tough to leave when your baby is crying for you. And it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions about that. But separation anxiety isn’t a sign you’ve done anything wrong—it’s a sign your baby knows they are loved and safe with you.

This stage won’t last forever. In time, your baby will learn that every goodbye is followed by a joyful return—and that trust will shape their sense of security for years to come.

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When Your Toddler Says “no” To Everything: How You Can Respond With Patience And Confidence

Published: September 18, 2025

If you have a toddler, you’ve probably heard the word “no” more times in a day than you can count. Whether it’s refusing food, clothes, bedtime, or simply resisting just because they can—toddlers often seem to thrive on saying no. While it can feel exhausting (and even oppositional), this phase is actually a healthy and important step in your child’s development. Why Toddlers Say No Toddlers are beginning to discover that they are their own person, separate from mom and dad. Saying no is one of the first tools they use to express independence and test boundaries. At this age, they don’t yet have the emotional regulation or vocabulary to express their big feelings, so opposition becomes their default language. Think of it this way: your child is not trying to make your life harder—they’re trying to figure out how to navigate a big world where they finally realize they have some control. What’s Normal and What’s Not Normal toddler behavior: Frequent refusals, tantrums, or insisting on doing things their way. When to pay closer attention: If the “no’s” are extreme, constant across settings, or paired with aggression, consult your pediatrician for guidance. But for most toddlers, this is a healthy stage that will pass. Strategies for Parents 1. Realize This is Likely Normal Behavior Realize that when your toddler is saying no and you are feeling overwhelmed, you are experiencing a perfectly normal part of parenting. It is okay to feel frustrated—this stage is temporary and does not mean you are doing anything wrong. 2. Offer Choices, Not Open-Ended Questions Instead of asking, “Do you want to put on your shoes?” (which invites a no), try: “Do you want to wear the red shoes or the blue ones?” Choices give your toddler a sense of control while still moving things forward. 3. Pick Your Battles Not every “no” needs to be a fight. Save your energy for safety and essential issues. If your toddler insists on wearing mismatched socks to the park, it’s okay to let it go. 4. Use Clear and Calm Language Keep instructions short and simple. Instead of long explanations, say: “It’s time for bed. Let’s read a story.” Consistency and calmness help reduce the power struggles. 5. Redirect and Distract Sometimes the quickest way to move past a “no” is to shift focus. Toddlers are easily drawn to something new: “You don’t want to brush your teeth? Let’s see if Mr. Dinosaur wants to brush his teeth first!” 6. Validate Their Feelings Acknowledge their frustration before moving forward: “I hear you. You don’t want to stop playing. That’s hard. It’s time for lunch now.” When toddlers feel understood, they’re more likely to cooperate. 7. Model Calm Behavior Your response teaches your child how to handle conflict. If you meet defiance with shouting, they learn to escalate. If you meet it with steady patience, you show them how to regulate big emotions. When “No” Turns Into Screaming and Kicking Sometimes toddlers don’t just say no—they scream, kick, or throw themselves on the floor. These meltdowns can feel overwhelming, but they’re usually a sign that your child is overloaded with emotions they don’t yet know how to manage. How to Respond in the Moment Stay calm and safe: Make sure your child and those around them are safe. If needed, gently guide them to a safe space. Keep your own emotions in check: Deep breaths, a calm voice, and steady body language help defuse the storm. Don’t match their intensity: Meeting a tantrum with yelling or threats often makes it worse. What to Say Simple, soothing words are best: “You’re really mad right now. I’m here.” “I won’t let you kick me. 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How We Support Toddlers at Berwyn Early Learning Academy At Berwyn Early Learning Academy, we understand that toddler “no’s” and meltdowns are part of growing up. Our teachers use calm, consistent strategies to help children build confidence and self-control. Predictable routines that reduce power struggles Safe choices that encourage independence Gentle emotional coaching to handle big feelings Strong communication with families so home and school work together We’re here to partner with you in guiding your child through this important stage. 👉 Ready to see how we can support your family? Book a tour today!

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Helping Your Baby Feel Secure —Through Every Goodbye